So Where Next?....

I recently took a complete u-turn professionally. All my life, I have steered clear of journalism, simply because, well.. I don’t like writing too much. I have never been able to keep a diary and was definitely the last person around to explore the realms of blogging.
But well, now I am a journalist, in ever sense of the words. I write, report, sub copies ( never said I was good at ant of the above) but the thing which bothers me is that I really enjoy what I do!

Not that it is a bad thing to enjoy work; it’s just that, I have lately begun to question myself if I really know what I want to do in life. Do I know my priorities? Do any of us? A very senior member of the editorial team keeps lamenting that he nothing to show for in his life. Blessed with a good amount of talent and a decently high position, for most people this would seem like a typical case of ‘life is made’ but that’s just the outside. Doubts, more doubts and this stupid nagging lil voice gnaws him (I am sure more often than once) and I am so afraid, 20 years down the line, I will feel the same.

Infact, I am sure. I have this theory that if by 21 you don’t know what you want in life, you will never know. Seriously, you end up studying every subject in school you do your graduation, your post-graduation and then after a point you just stele into anything. After school, I was always so happy that I chose the ‘road less traveled’ – media and design. While I could have prob got into any engineering college or atleast a decent law school but I choose to study the flexible- media. I wish I had not, with a plethora of options in front of me, I dunno what I want to do and what’s worse, I suddenly feel I could have so conveniently stepped into the path laid out for me but an engineering college.

Of course, what takes the cake is the fact that most people assume I am on the road to success ( just like my boss). I have a decent job, good college scores and generally a happy life. But, But But , Am I happy ? I don’t know, Am I doing what I want to do in life? I don’t know . The problem is, I think life has two options open to you

a) You touch peoples lives, make a difference and come out with decent work but make a pittance
b) You are another face in the crowd, you work your backside off as an anymayus work but really rake in the moolah.

The problem is, I want both! I want the routine and easiness of a corporate job, a plush office , standard work-timings and lots of money but at the same time want my flexibility, to be able to have my say and take a stand? Am I asking for too much? Well, apparently it is….

So who will be 15 years from now? A revolutionary with no money or just another face in the crowd who lives oblivious to the surroundings. Time will tell.. But the fact is .. I still dunno who I want to be… Do you?