10 NRI habits which PISS ME OFF !
10) Complain about the incessant heat!
After 3 months in the US, you come to India for 3 days and suddenly you can’t deal with the temperature? You friggin lived here for the first 25 years of your life!! Remember?
What is even more pissing off, is that the provincial gulf-returns, from Qwait, Dubai Muscat who complain about the heat? Yeah sure, it’s snowing there in the dessert?
9) The act of surprise!!
Oh wow, you actually get Coke in India? You have a Marks and Spencers? There is KFC here!! Man!! This place has really changed!!
No we are still 350 years behind, we are the land of snake-charmers and elephants , remember ?
8) Their constant need for mineral water!
Believe me, you don’t have to start every sentence with “ Is this water boiled?” remember the times in school and college where u ate off a pushcart, a la’ Kaiyandhi Bhavan? And contrary to your belief, we Indians do not have a penchant for contracting deadly diseases and so (surprise!) we try and drink water, which is safe!
7) The dismay at power-cuts!! Friggin India.. Still so backward!!
Yeah we do have power-cuts, so what now? At least we have safe neighborhoods, which is more than what I can say about your countries! And yeah just for your information, we don’t particularly love power-cuts and black-outs either, and believe me ..it is really not as bad as it was 5 years ago, so just shut up !
6) Their universal proclamation : Indian politics is all shit….. ugh!
You are living in the country where Bush is serving a second term and Arnold Schwarzenegger is a governor!! Really … you shouldn’t be talking!!
5) Their really mixed-up, annoying fashion sense
Yes I understand that you just discovered banana republic and GAP but no I do not understand how you could possibly think that wearing a $100 T-shirt with bright red shorts and teaming it rubber chappals from BATA is ‘cool’!
4) Sudden love towards ‘spiritual enlightenment’
We all know that you are not spiritual, who uou trying to fool now ? You never ever learnt Yoga the figgin 25 years you stayed and it’s not like you religiously hit the temple everyday either ..and suddenly you become foren-return and start preaching bout the benefits of Osho, Ravi Shankar, Yoga and want to make a trip to half a dozen temples to study spiritualism ..
3) The fact that they come back to India looking for a wife
If you so want an American life.. then why not an American wife ?? You have all the fun in the world and then unfailingly come back every year because you want a nice, obedient and yeah HOMELY ( wht the hell does that mean ? )Indian woman!! And then complain about her not being broad-minded and open and bla!! I mean make up your mind .. you want homely or non-homely .. ugh .. whatever !!
2) Health food fad !
Is this low-fat? Is that low-cal ? for heaven’s sake you spent 25 years gorging on oily parathas and eating rasam-sadham dripping with ghee and lapped it all up quite well!
1) THEIR STUPID FAKE ACCENT!
I don’t understand this … you send 25 years In India without acquiring an “indian accent” but you pick up an American accent in just 15 days !! Whats worse is the rare breed of people who pick up Brit-accents after staying in the US , American accents in Dubai ( shouldn’t you be picking up a mallu accent then) and yeah the Whooper … Brit accents after short 2-days official tours to the UK !
Note: the author ( yours truly) doesn’t have anything against NRIs and I really don’t think all of them are that bad, but please if you have made more than 3 out the top 10 listed statements at least 25 + times during your 3-day visit to India, Time to go drown your head in a bucket of cold water :) ( Eeeerrrr.. m not saying what I really wanted to say .. but well ! )
After 3 months in the US, you come to India for 3 days and suddenly you can’t deal with the temperature? You friggin lived here for the first 25 years of your life!! Remember?
What is even more pissing off, is that the provincial gulf-returns, from Qwait, Dubai Muscat who complain about the heat? Yeah sure, it’s snowing there in the dessert?
9) The act of surprise!!
Oh wow, you actually get Coke in India? You have a Marks and Spencers? There is KFC here!! Man!! This place has really changed!!
No we are still 350 years behind, we are the land of snake-charmers and elephants , remember ?
8) Their constant need for mineral water!
Believe me, you don’t have to start every sentence with “ Is this water boiled?” remember the times in school and college where u ate off a pushcart, a la’ Kaiyandhi Bhavan? And contrary to your belief, we Indians do not have a penchant for contracting deadly diseases and so (surprise!) we try and drink water, which is safe!
7) The dismay at power-cuts!! Friggin India.. Still so backward!!
Yeah we do have power-cuts, so what now? At least we have safe neighborhoods, which is more than what I can say about your countries! And yeah just for your information, we don’t particularly love power-cuts and black-outs either, and believe me ..it is really not as bad as it was 5 years ago, so just shut up !
6) Their universal proclamation : Indian politics is all shit….. ugh!
You are living in the country where Bush is serving a second term and Arnold Schwarzenegger is a governor!! Really … you shouldn’t be talking!!
5) Their really mixed-up, annoying fashion sense
Yes I understand that you just discovered banana republic and GAP but no I do not understand how you could possibly think that wearing a $100 T-shirt with bright red shorts and teaming it rubber chappals from BATA is ‘cool’!
4) Sudden love towards ‘spiritual enlightenment’
We all know that you are not spiritual, who uou trying to fool now ? You never ever learnt Yoga the figgin 25 years you stayed and it’s not like you religiously hit the temple everyday either ..and suddenly you become foren-return and start preaching bout the benefits of Osho, Ravi Shankar, Yoga and want to make a trip to half a dozen temples to study spiritualism ..
3) The fact that they come back to India looking for a wife
If you so want an American life.. then why not an American wife ?? You have all the fun in the world and then unfailingly come back every year because you want a nice, obedient and yeah HOMELY ( wht the hell does that mean ? )Indian woman!! And then complain about her not being broad-minded and open and bla!! I mean make up your mind .. you want homely or non-homely .. ugh .. whatever !!
2) Health food fad !
Is this low-fat? Is that low-cal ? for heaven’s sake you spent 25 years gorging on oily parathas and eating rasam-sadham dripping with ghee and lapped it all up quite well!
1) THEIR STUPID FAKE ACCENT!
I don’t understand this … you send 25 years In India without acquiring an “indian accent” but you pick up an American accent in just 15 days !! Whats worse is the rare breed of people who pick up Brit-accents after staying in the US , American accents in Dubai ( shouldn’t you be picking up a mallu accent then) and yeah the Whooper … Brit accents after short 2-days official tours to the UK !
Note: the author ( yours truly) doesn’t have anything against NRIs and I really don’t think all of them are that bad, but please if you have made more than 3 out the top 10 listed statements at least 25 + times during your 3-day visit to India, Time to go drown your head in a bucket of cold water :) ( Eeeerrrr.. m not saying what I really wanted to say .. but well ! )
17 comments:
Kaavya this is so damn funny man...I hope all the 'fakies' see this one! :D Ok... so what about the people who have a Brit/American/ blah accent and bloody have never been out of India? :D
S.I.P, great writing! Friggin' entertaining! ;)
hehee.. thanks :)
"wearing a $100 T-shirt with bright red shorts and teaming it rubber chappals from BATA is ‘cool’!"
Cooolesssstt!!
Beats me too..
Awesome, keep friggin writing :p
hey kavya...it was too gud n entertainin..:) de part abt de $100 t shirt clubbed wid rubber chappals...was de best!! :D
they may pursue their "american dream" in all earnestness ... accent included, but when osama is ready to strike ... they'll all go aiyyo amma appa kappathu !!!
All these so called NRIS are great actors and actresses. They get immense pleaseure in faking. False pride, a term that suits them very well.
Apeing the westerners, they think, is the most cool and trendy thing, little do they know they are just making a fool of themselves. All that we need to do is sit and watch the fun.
Bwahahaha, Points 6,7 and 10 are common for all Indians. This heat is horrible, don't tell me you got USED to it, you can never get USED to this heat which drains the life out of you and the stupid power cuts are always a pain in the neck.
Not to mention the fact that India will forever remain a developing country due to its rotten politics
so yea, NRIs aren't the only one complaining about those. :)
On a more humourous note... That photo is really funny XD
yay..... loved it... some fake people seriously need to read this.... thats cool... yeah! these are so surprised with all the things here and they cant imitate the dedication and commitment towards work that the west usually has. correct me if i am wrong... thats my experience...
i would hate bastard who do that too.
*bastard bastards
NICE!
Flash News:
NRI found asking for mineral water in kaiyandhi bhavan...was given kalle dosai n' more
lol! nice one kaka...damn funny!
This is super funny! Best was - When they need a american life, why not a american wife? LOL!
Point 8 iz d only 1 I wud disagree with bcuz therz a reason attached 2 it: Wen u stay abroad, u drink a totally different 'species' of water n ur body gets 'tuned' 2 tht new species. Wen I return 2 MY INDIA, I ask 4 only bottled H2O coz I dont wanna waste a part of my precious holidays in 'tuning' my body bk 2 d 'amrutham' I had for my 1st 25/30 yrs.
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