Oh Shitty Oh!!

Review: Om Shanti Om

Cast: Shah Rukh Kahn, Deepika Padukone, Shreyas Talpade and everyone who is anyone in Bollywood except ice-princess Aishwarya Rai

Rediff / Sify rating: ****

My rating: * ( barely!)

With more masala than 5 Vijay movies put together, more unbelievable than Rajini’s stunts and a script slimmer than Shilpa Shetty’s waist, the optimist that I am .. I still find five reasons to watch the movie!

5. The Deewanagi song, it’s a visual treat to see all the stars grace the screen together in one frame.

4. Shreyas Talpade!! Sigh!! Now only if he weren’t married!! Superlative performance
( as usual)

3. This is for the men !! Deepika’s legs
She shows a lot of them .. No matter what she wears, you can see them in every second frame !! Don’t expect her acting to be on the same caliber of the legs though! You will be sorely disappointed. Also look out for the song where she romances yesteryear’s stars in a very bad VFX job .. you can totally make out the super-imposition using After Effects & Shake ( yes !! I am showing off here ) but fun nonetheless…

2. So that you can stare in awe at how SRK invested 40 crores of his money in such shit!! And actually expects to make a profit over and above this!! Hahahaha

1. So that we South-Indians will make a fitting reply to anyone who ever dares make fun of a Rajini movie !!


So what exactly was Farah Khan thinking? She supposedly penned the script on Andrew Loyd Webber’s letterhead when she on a holiday . I can see why! The entire script won’t take more than half a letterhead and definitely had to be written when one was high!!

Watching Om Shanti Om, you can actually count the good moments!!
The movie opens up with a extremely plastic, artificial looking film set of Shubash Ghai’s Karz and yes it’s a delight to watch Rishi Kapoor roller-blading to the yesteryear hit tune of Om Shanti Om, in true filmi ishtyle… the Rishi Kapoor metamorphs into SRK himself … and well the dream is cut short … very nice for an introduction scene, but when the entire first half is stretched on a smilar note, you tend to get irritated. Very irritated!!!

Om Prakash Makeja ( Shah Rukh) is a small-time film extra who is insanely in love with super-star , dreamy girl ( good one that !! ) Shantipriya (Deepika padukone) . He is her biggest fan and would without batting an eyelash give up his life for her (yes yes, how original I say !) which predictably Deepika overhears and she hence develops a soft spot for Om. A few rendezvous and a magical date( literally, with much snow and some good special effects ) later, Om to his shock and surprise find out that Deepika is actually married to the rich, ruthless Mukesh ( Arjun Rampal … Oh so hooooooooooottt!!! )… Did actually expect the big star to be in love with him, after a few hi-byes??? Arjun doesn’t want to acknowledge his marriage to her, because he feels her market as a heroine will suffer a downfall! (even more creative this one !! ) Despite being a big star . Deepika still hold the traditional values of Sindhoor ( Yaaaawnn ! ) in high esteem and she forces Arjun to marry her, because she is (Gasp!) carrying his child !!

A furious Arjun tricks her into thinking he loves her ( Note: exceptionally predictable dialogue follows ( vaguely translated into English )
Deepika : You love me !! I am sorry that I didn’t trust you!!
Arjun: You should be sorry that you trusted me !! I am now going to burn you along with this film set!!
Deepika : Nahiiiiiii ( nooooo !!!!) Nahhhhhhhhhiiii !!


This, unfortunately is not a lift from a B-grade gangster movie but the nail-biting suspense which leads us to a much-required interval. Yaaay ! Atleast I have popcorn to keep me company through the rest of the movie! Also, I made the mistake of thinking.. the movie cudn’t get worse, so it would definitely get better !!

Post interval – Cut to 30 years after !


Om Makeja is reborn as superstar ( Om Kapoor) ! Well obviously Shah Rukh is Om Kapoor and the fact that he has the same face as the junior artist who died so many years ago and absolutely no resemblance whatsoever to his father-and mother .. well !! noone bats an eyelid ! What bothered me the most about he second half was Shah Rukh’s cool act! We have seen enough of it ! It was refreshing in DDLJ, it was passable in Kuch Kuch Hota Hain but it is just done to death now !! Pleaseeeeeeee…….. We don’t want to hear more of your fake accent and the swagger just doesn’t suit you at 45+!!

Of course, since SRK is reborn… Deepika is rebon too as “sandy” , a model from banglore ( yaaaaaaaaaay .. sooooo original Farah .. how did you zone on B’lore?)
The rest of the story is about how Om (the reborn one) and Sandy ( who looks exactly like Deepika but has absolutely no relation what so ever to her ! ) get back at Arjun Rampal for killing them!! Sigh!!

This wafer thin story-line is peppered with numerous star-appearance ( I am sure all those stars are thinking their lucky stars , that their involvement with the film was limited to a special appearance) and well more unbelievable stunts !! There are a few moments which are funny , Esp. SRK’s bit as Mohabatman and the mock Filmfare award ceremony but certainly nothing which can make the tortuous 1 hr 18 minute second half more bearable.

You wait till the end for the movie to get sensible, but well.. There is a twist ! The third Deeepika!! I am not going to tell you who that is, so that you can hope for something more original than what occurs… but you will be disappointed!!

As for the music!! Well the pick of the lot - Ajab Si is reduced to something of a background score and Dard-E-Disco makes absolutely no impact whatsoever, unless you fancy old men jumping around with half-naked women dressed in fur and leather!!

On the whole, I would say this is definitely a movie I would send my pesky little sister to, so that she can pay for sins, or better still send a couple of tickets to an ex who you can’t stand. A sure way to make them pay for their sins ..