Tainted Success

“ I want my own identity” my 16 year old cousin told me in all seriousness. (Let’s call her M for now). M is probably one of kids you would want to call ‘incredibly lucky’ – her mother is one of the most respected educationalists and the principal of a leading college in the country, obviously ‘getting in’ would not be any problem what-so-ever. Yet, as we sat talking in my bedroom, I had never seen her more vulnerable, hugging a pillow to her chest she repeats “ If I do well.. then I will branded as the principal’s daughter, If I don’t .. then it will be the story of the principal’s daughter not doing well. It’s a no win situation. I will be under constant scrutiny. My every step will be watched. I am afraid”.

For those few minutes, my heart went out to M, in a way I understand her so well… It’s been three years since I graduated from the same college as a University ranker and the voices saying ‘principal’s niece came first’ haven’t died down. Here is one thing every single classmate of mine will remember – I was related to the principal! Three years of hard-work, six semesters of constantly trying to innovate and three impressive professional internships … (ok, I know I am bragging now) but at the end.. that was all that I was … the principal’s niece. Now, this might have actually been justified if I had gotten even a ounce of that ‘preferential treatment’ – yes, I got to see the college labs beforehand and the library and office staff were rather nice to me … but that’s that .. Every teacher was told to mark me ‘carefully’ and anything above a 90 in any subject raised her eyebrows. Thankfully, the years I studied we were still affiliated to the University of Madras and all the final grading and marking was done at the University – completely exclusive to the college – PHEW! See, I am not saying I was the best or the smartest in class – I wasn’t … but then I worked hard … hard under the pressure of being someone who deserve her success. I was never a school topper and the first time I did well in my life, my success was clouded by a tag, a relationship nature chose for me, so much so that even my own father once remarked “ Oh, don’t think you are so smart, you topped because you are the principal’s niece”. Well, I don’t blame my classmates one bit – it’s so much easier to hate someone and I would have done the same on the other end of the spectrum…

Now, back to M … I can only imagine how much harder it would be for her… her reputation precedes her … no matter what she does … she won’t ever be a deserving candidate of the success in the eyes of her peers .. and if she doesn’t it’s egg on the face for her mother ( something, she can’t afford) . Torn between sides, she sat in front of me … while the rest of the world calls her difficult ‘ becoz she put her foot down about studying in the city, where everyone knows who she is”. Have we ever wondered how blood relatives of our teachers and principal fare at school ? Ill tell you .. terrible .. my best friend (from college) and probably the only person who actually believes that I deserve to be where I am .. thanks to the number of night-outs we have crammed together .. was a teacher’s daughter .. and her school-story wasn’t pretty either. Before we pass remarks (as even I have done ) .. Do we once stop to think of how we would like it if our success was taken away from us .. By just a tag? Before we boycott someone thanks to proximity to an administrator in school or college , do we stop to think how this would affect the person’s psyche ?...

Before .. I ramble and start to whine … my story had a happy ending .. I got a great job ( NOT through my aunt’s influence) and then came Harvard ( now, even SHE can’t get me into Harvard) … 2 years later .. I now believe that I can face any of my classmates, unapologetic about my good grades… as for my cousin .. all I have told her is to be patient .. her day will come …

Harvard Here I come!

So, it’s been like 6 months since I updated. I don’t blame myself you know .. when you begin to write for a living, you kinds begin to say to yourself “ Not again!” each time you see Microsoft word open!

Lots has happened, yes I got into Harvard. Ok, I am not going to be modest here (though I have been telling all and sundry – It’s not that hard) but believe me, I didn’t expect to. A very close friend told me less than week ago “ Don’t fool yourself, thinking you are intelligent, you are very average”. Ouch, the words couldn’t hurt more and why? Because I know he is right! I am average and yet, less than two months from now, I will be at Harvard.

Harvard! O how I love that word, “ I am going to Harvard!” – it’s like eating a triple layered cheesecake (minus the calories) , every time someone stares at you in awe! Hahaha, little do they know …

Sometime I think, the only reason I got into a University like that is because I applied to the graduate school not the Business school. Yes, here’s the part .. I find hard to explain, this is what I am going to do – Masters in Technology, Innovation and Education! Do you think it’s easier to get into the edu school? Honestly? Maybe, because they aren’t as many people who want to study education as there are who want a business degree ( read, want to make $144,000 on graduation) but you know what ? The acceptance ratio at the Education School is lower than the Business school (what I am trying to say here is that it is just as hard if not harder)
Alright, so I am effectively diverting now.. What I mean is .. or rather .. what I mean to say is … I still can’t belive that I am going to Harvard, I – who got rejected by NID, I who wasn’t on the 90+ bracket in Sate board education, I –the queen of procrastination and the love child of laziness and lethargy , am actually going to Harvard ( with a scholarship, may I add J ) . So Rejoice world, there is much hope for you … and yesh.. it still hasn’t sunk in, It probably won’t until I reach Boston.

Mistakes.......

Have you ever made a mistake, one you know you will regret all your life even before u made it but then went ahead and followed your heart anyway? Those are the mistakes.. I am talking about, the ones, which haunt you time and again, the ones that suddenly come back in flashes and leave you feeling queasy.

I have made those mistakes, like anyone else, for those few moments of joy, for those few moments of triumph; I have scarified my soul – time and again. It could be so many, many thing, small thing, big thing, great tings, but the point is, the minute you so something, you would hypocritically point as ‘wrong’ if someone else did and then go ahead and unflinchingly do the same yourself, you have lost. Lost as a person, as thinking being.

My point now, is not about those mistakes, it’s about moving ahead. I cheated on a math paper in grade 4. I was always a good student, but could never ever come first in class, no matter how hard I worked or tried, while I consistently delivered a second-third rank, the first was elusive – always. During my second mid-term test, I made an incredibly silly mistake in my paper, one which cost me (yet again) that first rank, while the teacher wasn’t looking, I quickly changed the answer (we wrote in pencil those days) and demanded more marks as I had done the sum right, she wordlessly awarded me the extra 3 marks and I came first that exam – for the first and last time of my life. Noone ever found out, and yet everytime I saw that teacher, I always felt there was something in her eyes, which said – cheater, cheater. It wasn’t just the math exam that day, the incident triggered a life-long aversion towards the subject, one which cost my dearly during my board exams in the 12th.

I’m not sounding like a martyr or a morally policed person (believe me I am not) but the feeling of shame, which wells up inside you, is terrible. Cheating on an exam is a small instance; there have been many more, much more serious. A multitude of times, I have done things, simply because I wanted to- things which fade away as time passes, but one day when u least expect comes back to you with so much force and vigor, that you curse yourself for ever believing that they were a distant memory.

Everytime, I see the people I have hurt in the past, being diplomatically polite to me, my stomach lurches, and yet, I understand that with one stupid act, I have broken bonds and trust which could have taken years to forge. Then I think of something a very special person once told me after a ‘weak moment’ – “One day it will come back and hit you so hard you won’t know what happened”. Oh I remember, what happened. Only remember too well!

so it 08'!

2007 for all reasons has been one of the most eventful years of my life ... A lot changes, broken promises and unfulfilled desires. In a lot of ways I grew up more in 2007 alone than I had during the first 20 years of my life.

My father, who I always thought was one of the fittest and most able people around fell sick, I was shocked couldn’t react and probably still do not know how to. I guess I realised for the first time in my life that people age, that life aint perfect and that loosing a loved one could someday be a reality.

Relationships were crazy, moving out of college to another city and then moving back and then swapping jobs, I have met so many people – some of who have touched my life and some, who I just want to forget but well, 2007 was the year of people. People who I thought would stay with me till the day I die, left .. people who I wanted to run away from were my support. People who I think too much of, mean the worlds and people – were just being themselves.. unpredictable. This people include people like me – unpredictable, unstable and irrational.

The year of my first job, I finally woke up to reality. Both ins school and college, I have never really put in much effort, especially college, where I sailed through totally relying on the power of bullshit , I had time, I had freedom and I could still do well.. that was life!! No deadlines, no embarrassment and no bosses. I also learnt another thing, college politics is absolutely nothing compared to what you see at your workplace and there are only two ways to survive
1 – Bitch back as viciously as you can
2- Shup up, mind your business and pretend like people don’t exist
I tried a bit of both, think I am going to choose the latter though, it’s easier safer and that the end people just call you a ‘snob’, the former could lead to far more hazardous complications.

2007, the year of my goals- I finally decided to do something about my life. I need to move towards my dream, even if it means letting go for a cushy routine. 2007 is when I realized I could be stuck in a rut if I didn’t take the initiative to move and 2007 is when I started my journey towards my dream- education. I should soon be going to Graduate school to study and this will hopefully put me on a path towards professional nirvana.

Money! I discovered financial independence, of course even in school and college, I was always the type who never had to save, a lot of part-time jobs and the delightful ‘prize money’ earned form several cultures and quite a generous amount of pocket money, kept me quite happy but I finally began to understand what it is to make a good amount of it, enough to do what you want, buy what you want , money that is yours with noone to ask questions.,. well.. bliss.

Finally.. with 2008, I realize me turning another year older is just a matter of 4 months.. I will soon be 22! And 22 does not read young anymore. I can no longer do absurd things and pass it off as ‘cute’ , I can never be so sweetly immature again and tantrums won’t be laughed at. Children will start calling me aunty, I need to be a serious-faced responsible adult and people will now start looking at me as a ‘woman’. Its time I grow up!!

So Where Next?....

I recently took a complete u-turn professionally. All my life, I have steered clear of journalism, simply because, well.. I don’t like writing too much. I have never been able to keep a diary and was definitely the last person around to explore the realms of blogging.
But well, now I am a journalist, in ever sense of the words. I write, report, sub copies ( never said I was good at ant of the above) but the thing which bothers me is that I really enjoy what I do!

Not that it is a bad thing to enjoy work; it’s just that, I have lately begun to question myself if I really know what I want to do in life. Do I know my priorities? Do any of us? A very senior member of the editorial team keeps lamenting that he nothing to show for in his life. Blessed with a good amount of talent and a decently high position, for most people this would seem like a typical case of ‘life is made’ but that’s just the outside. Doubts, more doubts and this stupid nagging lil voice gnaws him (I am sure more often than once) and I am so afraid, 20 years down the line, I will feel the same.

Infact, I am sure. I have this theory that if by 21 you don’t know what you want in life, you will never know. Seriously, you end up studying every subject in school you do your graduation, your post-graduation and then after a point you just stele into anything. After school, I was always so happy that I chose the ‘road less traveled’ – media and design. While I could have prob got into any engineering college or atleast a decent law school but I choose to study the flexible- media. I wish I had not, with a plethora of options in front of me, I dunno what I want to do and what’s worse, I suddenly feel I could have so conveniently stepped into the path laid out for me but an engineering college.

Of course, what takes the cake is the fact that most people assume I am on the road to success ( just like my boss). I have a decent job, good college scores and generally a happy life. But, But But , Am I happy ? I don’t know, Am I doing what I want to do in life? I don’t know . The problem is, I think life has two options open to you

a) You touch peoples lives, make a difference and come out with decent work but make a pittance
b) You are another face in the crowd, you work your backside off as an anymayus work but really rake in the moolah.

The problem is, I want both! I want the routine and easiness of a corporate job, a plush office , standard work-timings and lots of money but at the same time want my flexibility, to be able to have my say and take a stand? Am I asking for too much? Well, apparently it is….

So who will be 15 years from now? A revolutionary with no money or just another face in the crowd who lives oblivious to the surroundings. Time will tell.. But the fact is .. I still dunno who I want to be… Do you?

Aaja ‘Nene’ Nachle!

Movie: Aaja Nachle

Cast: Madhuri, Madhuri, Madhuri and well others...

Rating: ***1/2

3 things to look out for in Aaja Nachle!

1) Madhuri falls in love with a man called “Steve” (Mc.Curry) – A National Geographic photographer, who specializes in Indian and Asian photography. Wonder what Mc. Curry has to say about this!!!

( Note: For the clueless people, Steve Mc. Curry is the famous NGO photographer, who shot the Afghan girl – the one with the purple dress and soulful blue-green eyes)

2) The scene when Madhuri discusses marriage with her to-be husband , she says
“In India most of us get married just once, Do you understand that ? “ SCORE!!!

3) Vinay Pathak’s- Mash of Zorro act …

Ok I gotta stop, before I give away the entire story …..


What are the three best things about Aaja Nachle? Madhuri Dixit , Madhuri Dixit and well…did I mention Madhuri Dixit? Yes, She IS a 40+ mother of two and NO she doesn’t try to hide it. She is definitely not playing a college-student (which many of our Tamil heroes continue to do at the age of 50+)
While Madhuri’s age shows on her face, it has absolutely no effect what-so-ever on her acting or dancing prowess, which is tremendous!

While, it’s worth watching the movie just to see the “original queen bee’ of Bollywood come back with a bang, there is more … Konkona Sen, Kunal Kapoor, Askhaye Khanna (I tried really hard not to like him, but dayem! I end up falling in love with that balding old man agagin!) And the Channel V duo – Ranvir and Vinay!


Madhuri (Dia) a dance choreographer in NYC (cut to flashback - her falling in love with a ‘Gora’ photographer (Ghosh! We are racist), bringing shame upon the family, the family leaving town etc etc .), comes down to her hometown Shamili because her Guruji (the one who taught her to “Deiance” – don’t miss M’s Umercian accent ..) is on his death bed.

Back in Shamili, she realizes her dance school is going to be razed to the ground and her Guruji’s last wish to preserve his place of worship. How madhuri comes up with a plan to outwit the local politicians, the suave MP , building contractor etc. and puts up a
“Laila-Majnu” play with the well artistically-challenged town folk is what makes the rest of the story.

Predictable fare – yet again! If you have been watching movies day once a month for the last 2-3 years of your life, you can figure out what the story is going to be and how the movie will progress. No surprises there.. No great script-writing either..

But I would definitely say .. Watch Aaja at least once .. be it for the songs, or Madhuri’s dancing or simply because of the fact that, refreshingly the movie has no caricatures – no silly villains thirsting for revenge till the end, no extreme mother-daughter crying and sentiment scenes and no ‘bad people’ trying to ruin the climax .. Phew!!

For all you people who actually sat through Om Shanti Om ( I am not even going to mention the people who actually “loved” the movie) and the ones who thought Saawariya was not all that bad – A must watch!

For all the people who actually thinking of taking dance lessons, go watch Aaja- if Madhuri does not have you at your feet at the end of the movie … then well.. Take lessons anyway.. Someday we might all just be able to dance like her :)

After Black it's Blue!

Movie : Saawariya

Cast: Salman Khan, Sonam Kapoor, Rani Mukherjee, Ranbir Kapoor

Rating: Rediff / Sify / Indiatimes : *1/2

My rating: ****


After Black, it is Blue!! Sanjay Leela Bhansali really has a penchant for colours ( or the lack of it)! Saawariya for many reason is like an under-water diving experience, there is blue , blue and well still more blue! Underwater you see fauna of different colours but here the cast, extras and even the table linen is blue!

Flashback! ( mine )

With people trashing the movie left, right and center! An incredible amount of negative publicity and the movie being not-so affectionately being nicknames Saawariya – Sethuporiya ( which means will you die, if translated into Tamil). I was prepared for the absolute worst!!

The first hurdle was finding company, for some reason noone shared my enthusiasm to experiment a bit with an ‘insipid movie which is almost monochromatic’ … lol.. I did find two bakras nonetheless, my poor colleagues, one even dragged her husband! The final verdict however was mixed, one colleague liked it, I loved it and the other detested it!

There is and believe me there definitely is a way to enjoy the movie! Keep in mind the
three characteristic which are unique to Saawariya, put all logic aside , sit back, relax and enjoy the visual splendor!

· Serial-lights!! You see serial lights everywhere, on the roads, under the bridge, inside the waste-paper basket, on the road, near the chicken coop and even under Sonam Kapoor’s skirt!!

· A ghost township! My colleague along with half the world had the same doubt! Where the hell is this town? I have another to add to that doubt, why the hell does it look like a bad matt painting (for all those who don’t understand that term , it’s used to describe the digital imagery you see in fantasy movies). There are boats which move on less than foot of water, people who stand around like zombies , 3 feet wide lakes so on and so forth!

· The time frame- At time you feel like we are in the present day world, there are times where u feel like you are hundred years behind but what you constantly feel is that you stuck in a monochromatic world! Don’t try determining the time frame!

· I DON'T LIKES Rani Mukerjee!! GAWD I DETEST HER ANS HER FAKE CHIRPY VOICE DIALOGUES...FRANKLY..GET A LIFE WOMAN… WE HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU PLAYING THE ‘FALLEN WOMAN’ … now could you please retire after you impending wedding to Adi Chopra?


So do the move make sense? Absolutely not! But it tugs at your heart strings, every scene has been canned with emotion, with love with passion and that shows!! Yes, every single frame has been tireless made to look visually splendid … and yet.. the same detail hasn’t been rendered to performance and script.

Saawariya is one of those movies where you take home something with you and one of those things is a absolutely, fantastic, superlative performance by Zora Segal! Her act as lilli-pop itself it worth every bit the Rs.120 ticket! The other is this warm fuzzy feeling, the one who get while hugging you teddy bear . Ranbir Kapoor does look gay but there is a certain sincerity in his performance which melts you.

Contrary to reports “you are NOT assaulted but he music” . The songs are simple, melodious, fabulously choreographed. However what I was pleasantly surprised by is that the songs were all delightfully short, never more than 3 minutes, always leaving us
( atleast me) asking for more.

While Ranbir is a fabulous dancer the same can’t be said about his attempt to act but I am sure he will learn with time, Anyways since when does talent determine success in bollywood ? Sonam on the other hand, is refreshingly un-perfect looking ! I made a few catty comments about hoe she need a lip-job done and a few tweaks on her face but she is an ordinary looking woman well cast in the role, which she plays ..eeeeerrrrrrr. ummmmmmm….. well to the best she can!

The story is a simple innocent boy-meets girl tale. A wandering minstrel falls in love with a fair maiden on a lonely bridge. He falls madly in love with her only to realize she has given away her heart to another man, who she waits for tirelessly. He bowls her over with his charm and exuberance but will she falter ? Will she give up her love for the young man who sweeps her off her feet??? Watch Saawariya to find out !!

If you want a second opinion ( a rather contrasting one at that ) read Neeraja’s blog
(the one who hated it !) http://whatifeel-neeraja.blogspot.com/

P.S. I say watch the movie, leave logic behind and get lost in a mesmerising, monochromatic azure melange’.

ATM - Arruvai Tamil Mokkai !!

Movie: Azhagiya Tamil Magan

Cast: Good Vijay, bad Vijay and dumb blonde’ Shriya

Rating: hahahahahahahahahaah – What’s that agagin ???

ATM stand for Arruvai Tamil Mokkai


My problem really is optimism. After having seen Saawariya and Om Shanti Om, I decided masala works best with a Tamil ‘mass’ hero. Besides, I had seen the worst, so why worry?

Unfortunately I was wrong (yet again!). Vijay’s two worst movies are easily Sivakasi and Sachin, Now for all those you have seen or even heard of these movies.. Extract the mokkai value of both these movies, multiply it by 20 and cube it.. You will get a ball-park figure on how “Kadi” Azhagiya Tamil Magan is !!

The highlight of the movie is definitely his punch line : Pinni pedal yeduthuduvain
(literally translated into : I will plait you and remove your pedal .. and no it does not make sense in the Tamil context either .. so don’t even bother!!! ) But then what the hell.. When have punch dialogues ever made sense? Also the chemistry or lack of it between Vijay and Shriya is worth a deko, especially for men who like to fantasize about women with perfect abs, loads of moolah and ‘kaarpu intact’ chasing them around.

My north Indian friend wanted to know what the hell the movie was named Azhagiya Tamil Magan” – which btw literally translated in “beautiful Tamil son” , when the protagonist Vijay is not by any standards known for his well.. eeerr inherent good looks!! I wait too.. Watching ( almost ) the entire movie .. For that one little clue!!
But naaahhh!!!

I should kick myself for calling Om Shanti Om unbelievable!! If OSO is unbelievable, then ATM is just ridiculous! Two Vijay’s .. one good and one bad ( obviously!!) .. The story is a two-liner… The good Vijay meets and falls in love with Shriya but then develops ESP where he can see the future and in his (ahem!) mind’s eye sees himself killing Shriya. Dejected and afraid, he leaves the city only to see a body double ( who despite being born and brought up in Bombay speaks flawless Tamil with local Chennai accent intact’ ) . It suddenly strikes him that the body double would be the person killing Shriya and hence begins to chase him while the Bad Vijay escapes and reaches Chennai where Shriya mistakes him for the good Vijay !( obviously!!) (Phew!)

In well true Vijay style, the good Vijay (who meets with an accident) runs away from the hospital only to come back to Chennai to rescue his lady-love from the bad Vijay! Well, the torture doesn’t stop there, Shriya (who is as dumb as she looks) has a knack of choosing the wrong Vijay over the right own, until she finally discovers who her true lover is while keeping her ‘kaarpu’ (chastity) as Saakshi (witness) … sigh!!! And we thought those movies went out of vogue in the 80’s…But no the climax doesn’t end there.. Shriya lying wounded in the hospital tells the bad Vijay about how she is not sad that her life is hanging in a balance but is happy that her “kaarpu’ ( sigh!!!!!! Leave the darn thing alone .. will you ) has been saved for her true love.. The bad Vijay who heard her moving Kaapu speech decides to turn over a new leaf while the lovers live happily ever after!

If the movie doesn’t sound bad enough, wait till you are assaulted by A.R Rahman’s music.. and insipid art-direction and third-rate animation!! Of course if you are the type who likes Shriya’s belly-button, well the director has definitely done a lot of justice to showcasing that, just wish he took as much trouble while canning the scenes.

On the whole, ATM is worth 120 rupees of the ticket , if you watching in INOX since the seats are comfortable, but don’t attempt buying the flavorless popcorn for Rs. 40, because the movie is definitely not a cent more!!

P.S I just gave Om Shati Om , four stars after watching ATM

Oh Shitty Oh!!

Review: Om Shanti Om

Cast: Shah Rukh Kahn, Deepika Padukone, Shreyas Talpade and everyone who is anyone in Bollywood except ice-princess Aishwarya Rai

Rediff / Sify rating: ****

My rating: * ( barely!)

With more masala than 5 Vijay movies put together, more unbelievable than Rajini’s stunts and a script slimmer than Shilpa Shetty’s waist, the optimist that I am .. I still find five reasons to watch the movie!

5. The Deewanagi song, it’s a visual treat to see all the stars grace the screen together in one frame.

4. Shreyas Talpade!! Sigh!! Now only if he weren’t married!! Superlative performance
( as usual)

3. This is for the men !! Deepika’s legs
She shows a lot of them .. No matter what she wears, you can see them in every second frame !! Don’t expect her acting to be on the same caliber of the legs though! You will be sorely disappointed. Also look out for the song where she romances yesteryear’s stars in a very bad VFX job .. you can totally make out the super-imposition using After Effects & Shake ( yes !! I am showing off here ) but fun nonetheless…

2. So that you can stare in awe at how SRK invested 40 crores of his money in such shit!! And actually expects to make a profit over and above this!! Hahahaha

1. So that we South-Indians will make a fitting reply to anyone who ever dares make fun of a Rajini movie !!


So what exactly was Farah Khan thinking? She supposedly penned the script on Andrew Loyd Webber’s letterhead when she on a holiday . I can see why! The entire script won’t take more than half a letterhead and definitely had to be written when one was high!!

Watching Om Shanti Om, you can actually count the good moments!!
The movie opens up with a extremely plastic, artificial looking film set of Shubash Ghai’s Karz and yes it’s a delight to watch Rishi Kapoor roller-blading to the yesteryear hit tune of Om Shanti Om, in true filmi ishtyle… the Rishi Kapoor metamorphs into SRK himself … and well the dream is cut short … very nice for an introduction scene, but when the entire first half is stretched on a smilar note, you tend to get irritated. Very irritated!!!

Om Prakash Makeja ( Shah Rukh) is a small-time film extra who is insanely in love with super-star , dreamy girl ( good one that !! ) Shantipriya (Deepika padukone) . He is her biggest fan and would without batting an eyelash give up his life for her (yes yes, how original I say !) which predictably Deepika overhears and she hence develops a soft spot for Om. A few rendezvous and a magical date( literally, with much snow and some good special effects ) later, Om to his shock and surprise find out that Deepika is actually married to the rich, ruthless Mukesh ( Arjun Rampal … Oh so hooooooooooottt!!! )… Did actually expect the big star to be in love with him, after a few hi-byes??? Arjun doesn’t want to acknowledge his marriage to her, because he feels her market as a heroine will suffer a downfall! (even more creative this one !! ) Despite being a big star . Deepika still hold the traditional values of Sindhoor ( Yaaaawnn ! ) in high esteem and she forces Arjun to marry her, because she is (Gasp!) carrying his child !!

A furious Arjun tricks her into thinking he loves her ( Note: exceptionally predictable dialogue follows ( vaguely translated into English )
Deepika : You love me !! I am sorry that I didn’t trust you!!
Arjun: You should be sorry that you trusted me !! I am now going to burn you along with this film set!!
Deepika : Nahiiiiiii ( nooooo !!!!) Nahhhhhhhhhiiii !!


This, unfortunately is not a lift from a B-grade gangster movie but the nail-biting suspense which leads us to a much-required interval. Yaaay ! Atleast I have popcorn to keep me company through the rest of the movie! Also, I made the mistake of thinking.. the movie cudn’t get worse, so it would definitely get better !!

Post interval – Cut to 30 years after !


Om Makeja is reborn as superstar ( Om Kapoor) ! Well obviously Shah Rukh is Om Kapoor and the fact that he has the same face as the junior artist who died so many years ago and absolutely no resemblance whatsoever to his father-and mother .. well !! noone bats an eyelid ! What bothered me the most about he second half was Shah Rukh’s cool act! We have seen enough of it ! It was refreshing in DDLJ, it was passable in Kuch Kuch Hota Hain but it is just done to death now !! Pleaseeeeeeee…….. We don’t want to hear more of your fake accent and the swagger just doesn’t suit you at 45+!!

Of course, since SRK is reborn… Deepika is rebon too as “sandy” , a model from banglore ( yaaaaaaaaaay .. sooooo original Farah .. how did you zone on B’lore?)
The rest of the story is about how Om (the reborn one) and Sandy ( who looks exactly like Deepika but has absolutely no relation what so ever to her ! ) get back at Arjun Rampal for killing them!! Sigh!!

This wafer thin story-line is peppered with numerous star-appearance ( I am sure all those stars are thinking their lucky stars , that their involvement with the film was limited to a special appearance) and well more unbelievable stunts !! There are a few moments which are funny , Esp. SRK’s bit as Mohabatman and the mock Filmfare award ceremony but certainly nothing which can make the tortuous 1 hr 18 minute second half more bearable.

You wait till the end for the movie to get sensible, but well.. There is a twist ! The third Deeepika!! I am not going to tell you who that is, so that you can hope for something more original than what occurs… but you will be disappointed!!

As for the music!! Well the pick of the lot - Ajab Si is reduced to something of a background score and Dard-E-Disco makes absolutely no impact whatsoever, unless you fancy old men jumping around with half-naked women dressed in fur and leather!!

On the whole, I would say this is definitely a movie I would send my pesky little sister to, so that she can pay for sins, or better still send a couple of tickets to an ex who you can’t stand. A sure way to make them pay for their sins ..

The song

Nostalgia!

At the beginning with you

At The Beginning

For all those who matter, you know what I am tlaking about, who I am talking about and what I am saying ..Shit! I miss you guys ...

P.S Highlighted all our favoutire lines :)


We were strangers starting out on our journey
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through
Now here we are and I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you


No one told me I was going to find you
Unexpected what you did to my heart
When I lost hope
you were there to remind me
This is the start

(chorus)And Life is a road
and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever
A Wonderful journey

I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there whenthe storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you


We were strangers on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

(chorus)I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
I know that my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart


(chorus)In the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you

10 NRI habits which PISS ME OFF !

10) Complain about the incessant heat!

After 3 months in the US, you come to India for 3 days and suddenly you can’t deal with the temperature? You friggin lived here for the first 25 years of your life!! Remember?
What is even more pissing off, is that the provincial gulf-returns, from Qwait, Dubai Muscat who complain about the heat? Yeah sure, it’s snowing there in the dessert?

9) The act of surprise!!
Oh wow, you actually get Coke in India? You have a Marks and Spencers? There is KFC here!! Man!! This place has really changed!!

No we are still 350 years behind, we are the land of snake-charmers and elephants , remember ?


8) Their constant need for mineral water!

Believe me, you don’t have to start every sentence with “ Is this water boiled?” remember the times in school and college where u ate off a pushcart, a la’ Kaiyandhi Bhavan? And contrary to your belief, we Indians do not have a penchant for contracting deadly diseases and so (surprise!) we try and drink water, which is safe!


7) The dismay at power-cuts!! Friggin India.. Still so backward!!

Yeah we do have power-cuts, so what now? At least we have safe neighborhoods, which is more than what I can say about your countries! And yeah just for your information, we don’t particularly love power-cuts and black-outs either, and believe me ..it is really not as bad as it was 5 years ago, so just shut up !

6) Their universal proclamation : Indian politics is all shit….. ugh!

You are living in the country where Bush is serving a second term and Arnold Schwarzenegger is a governor!! Really … you shouldn’t be talking!!


5) Their really mixed-up, annoying fashion sense

Yes I understand that you just discovered banana republic and GAP but no I do not understand how you could possibly think that wearing a $100 T-shirt with bright red shorts and teaming it rubber chappals from BATA is ‘cool’!



4) Sudden love towards ‘spiritual enlightenment’

We all know that you are not spiritual, who uou trying to fool now ? You never ever learnt Yoga the figgin 25 years you stayed and it’s not like you religiously hit the temple everyday either ..and suddenly you become foren-return and start preaching bout the benefits of Osho, Ravi Shankar, Yoga and want to make a trip to half a dozen temples to study spiritualism ..



3) The fact that they come back to India looking for a wife

If you so want an American life.. then why not an American wife ?? You have all the fun in the world and then unfailingly come back every year because you want a nice, obedient and yeah HOMELY ( wht the hell does that mean ? )Indian woman!! And then complain about her not being broad-minded and open and bla!! I mean make up your mind .. you want homely or non-homely .. ugh .. whatever !!


2) Health food fad !

Is this low-fat? Is that low-cal ? for heaven’s sake you spent 25 years gorging on oily parathas and eating rasam-sadham dripping with ghee and lapped it all up quite well!


1) THEIR STUPID FAKE ACCENT!
I don’t understand this … you send 25 years In India without acquiring an “indian accent” but you pick up an American accent in just 15 days !! Whats worse is the rare breed of people who pick up Brit-accents after staying in the US , American accents in Dubai ( shouldn’t you be picking up a mallu accent then) and yeah the Whooper … Brit accents after short 2-days official tours to the UK !


Note: the author ( yours truly) doesn’t have anything against NRIs and I really don’t think all of them are that bad, but please if you have made more than 3 out the top 10 listed statements at least 25 + times during your 3-day visit to India, Time to go drown your head in a bucket of cold water :) ( Eeeerrrr.. m not saying what I really wanted to say .. but well ! )

10 ways to figure out you have become FAT

10 ways to figure out you are FAT

10) People begin to refer to you as a well ‘normal-size’ as opposed to the previous ‘skinny’ and ‘slim’.

9) Despite sucking your breath in, you still can’t pull your 26-inch levis above your thighs.

8) You prefer ‘smart Indo-western’ wear to the usual ‘jeans and t-shirts’.

7) Fat people say things like “ Lets hit the gym together” or “We should really get into shape”

6) You religiously swap to “DIET COKE” – like it is going to make a difference!

5) You turn your nose up at skinny jeans and leggings even though they are in vogue , because you think – “they look silly”

4) You spend a bomb on a body-sculpting corset and then don’t wear it because it gets uncomfortably tight after lunch.

3) You stop looking into the mirror as often as you used to.

2) You look at old pictures and exclaim loudly “ I was so skinny” , you also stare at other slim women and classify them as ‘anorexic’

1) YOUR GRANDMOTHER FINALLY BEGINS TO APPROVE OF YOUR SIZE AND SAYS – AH! NOW YOU LOOK NICE! ( A sure sign of loads of extra flab)


If you experience even five of the above ten symptoms, it’s well.. Time to hit the gym!

Kaavya Krishna

What I learnt from Sivaji!

As a person I have two primary passions : education and cinema !Taking this into consideration , it is really no surprise that my proposed career goal is making cinema a medium of education . All that said , obviously June 15th drew in for me with much excitement , it was the world-wide premiere of Sivaji and being an adrant “Thalaivar” fan I had the privilege of catching the movie.

Well , it being a rajni movie would have definitely been reason enough for mje to go and watch it but it being a “rajni movie which throws light” on education really drew me to watch it. I was fascinated , cheered , whistled and had a great time and Sivaji went back to the back my mind and another issue cropped up .

Why did the Ambanis start an International school and not a free education center?

Today as an very proud Indian, I can tell you one thing – there is only one future for this country and that involves education at the grass-root level, it is only when we all are educated , can read-write and comprehend what is happening around us that we can stop blindly taking shit from a disgusting governance and nod our heads in dismay as we see 30% of our earnings being squandered away to the pockets of our politicians.

For me it would be a very simple idea, if the government does not want to privatize the running of government schools then why can’t corporate open free schools of their own? If they can do it for their staff and employees, then why not for the poor?
Can the Ambanis not afford to open a free school? Or is it that they needed ANOTHER moneymaking venture?? Kinda hard to believe that it is the latter don’t you think?

Coming to think of it, makes a lot of sense, the whole picture after you see Sivaji, maybe Thalaivar’s movies are not just candy-floss, as for the Ambanis .. Shankar are you listening ? Think we just found the subject for your nest movie!

Alone and no idea why !!

Have u ever felt alone ??Really ? Have you ?? Felt an emptiness inside you ?? Something which noone can fill ??? Not yr best friends , not your parents and sometimes not even yr husbands, boyfriends etc etc etc …Well , If u have read-one and if you haven’t I should say congratulations .. u are very very very very lucky !!!

Well , I fall under the first category … there are these days .. These days when u feel so lost, lonely, alone, down, sad, unsatisfied…. and the worst part is that you have absolutely no idea why !!You don’t feel like talking to people , you don’t feel like well doing anything and then everything u eat begins to feel like cardboard , you stare blankly at the screen ( computer, television ) , a 50 songs have passed on yr I-pod and u still think you are listening to the same one you heard an hour ago !! The u lift yrself with super-human effort and go to the loo and sit there for hours staring at the ceiling, looking the tiny cracks the cob-web which was due to be cleaned over a month ago, well then u slowly graduate to the couch in the living room … stuff yr face with everything possible unhealthy ( cheese fries , coke, chocolate)..and just crash there for the rest of the day. Occasionally flipping thru all the channels on TV with the same dead-pan expression and a boredom without limits.

The next day however you wake up, totally fresh, happy and normal with absolutely no trace what so ever of the previous except for the recollection of a sad waste of a whole day ( 24 hrs ) and this continues except for every once in a while this redundant, lonely, sad day pops in !!

Tell me, do you know why this happens?? and you think there will ever be a person who has that much control as to sway yr emotions make you happy and smile despite it being “one of those days”- honestly I don’t!! Well I have had some of the happiest time with my friends who have been my strength, support, joy and always been thr even during the slightest forewarning of misery but yet during one of these days “I JUST DON’T WANNA TLAK ABOUT IT” because I don’t know what the heck that feeling is … ppl trying to help gets on my nerves and I just wanna be left alone to wallow in my own misery and sorrow .Tell me if we are really so happy and thrilled with life .. and the course it is taking .. then WHY DOES THIS FEELING COME ? WHY WHY WHY ???

I don’t think I will ever know but I know those days , those days when it is just “one of those days” , those days which is worse then PMS , worse than a metallica concert with a head-ache .. those days … days which we all go through and never know why !!

Lessons I learnt !!( The hard way )

Long time , no blog ….

After what has effectively been the worst week of my 21- yr old life, m back to write abt how the experience made me a wiser and well ugh.. more mature person !

Well here are the lessons I learnt :

#1 CINDERELLA – IS A FAIRY TALE !! NO SUCH THINGS HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE AND YES .. FAIR GOD-MOTHER – DO NOT –EXIST !!


#2 YOU CAN FOOL SOME OF THE PEOPLE , ALL THE TIME AND ALL
THE PEOPLE SOME OF THE TIME BUT U CANT FOOL ALL THE PEOPLE
ALL THE TIME 1 ( o believe me … very very profound this statement )


#3 WELL U CAN WANNA DO A THOUSAND THINGS , BUT U AINT GETTING NOWHERE DOING THEM , UNLESS U GET ON ARSE AND ACTUALLY DO THEM !! U GOTTA WORK IF U WANT STUFF TO HAPPEN


#4 WELL , DO NOT ASSUME STUFF .. U MIGHT BE THE MOST CHARMING,INTELLIGENT,SUPER BEING ON EARTH BUT BELIVE ME NOT EVERYONE SHARES YR OPINION … eerrrr actually noone does !!



#5 SOMETIMES .. THE BEST WAY OUT IS TO JUST SHUT UP !!
( Actually make that all the time !! )
( no actually make that lesson no.1 ! )

Aishwarya Bachan or Aishwarya Rai Bachan ??????

Aishwarya Bachan or Aishwarya Rai Bachan ??????

Yes, If you were wondering what the hell that was all about trust me so was I ! I really shouldn’t be complaining because afterall my job involves watching movies , watching movies and well watching move movies and while I am at it I also read-up on celeb gossip and yes , I do get paid for doing exactly that !!

Yeah my friends have cursed me , abused me , told me how lucky I am a million times over and over again but frivolity of the whole thing is really getting to me ! Honestly, not that I don’t enjoy reading the celeb-gossip column in Deccan Chronicle everyday and yes I definitely have read both Stardust and Filmfare more than once but seriously the we give celebs and their lives way toooo much importance.

So coming back to the topic, believe me , very recently this was the topic of discussion fro the day in one of India’s leading news websites , will Aishwarya call herself Aishwarya Bachchan or Rai Bachchan after her impending marriage to Abishek ??? Honestly, when I saw it as the discussion forum for the day, I was thinking to myself, who the hell cares, she could probably call herself Muniyama after her wedding … but then that cheap lil voice inside me ( yeah yeah the same one which makes me do all the wrong things ) , made me go back and check the forum next day and the topic had a whooping 976 posts !!

Of course, me being well.. Me , I just had to go back and check on the previous topics , well , most of them were filmi and lot of them trashing the cricket team but when I looked into a discussion forum relating to Citizen Bang lore , the no. of posts were a disappointing 92 !!!! Well , that got me ! So, what is it with voyeurism, what is it about celebs or for that matter anyone, why is it that we (me included )are so so interested in what everyone other than us wears, eats , how much they make , what they do , what their third aunt six times removed gifted them !! why !!If we prob exercised one-tenth of that concern in issues relating to our environment and society, well we would have progressed so much .

Well, not that I should really be one to talk because as I type this blog I am working on my next assignment which is researching on “Where Celebs holiday “ .. sigh !!!!

Am I superficial ?????

Well honestly I am one of "those women" , yeah the same type looks down on the well-dressed , well-kept types and says things like " God knows how much she spent in the beauty parlour" or "I'm sure she has the brains of a butterfly" . You could probarbly put Madam Curie in trendy boots and a well cut shirt and I am sure I will be just as prejudice. Well to drive home the point , I am also one of those people who takes a peverse pleasure in well 'un-maintaining" myself ( yes that includes , having a bath once in two days , brushing my hair one a week and being on a strict "junk-food" diet).For all this , I brand myself as not-superficial , then I go on to say "well take me as I am because this is what I am ". But then really am I really not superficial ? or am I just trying to hide my insecurity or maybe that fact that I am incredibly superficial behind this facade ???

Well , coming to why I really thought of this .. I went through my blog last night and found the below comment

Anonymous said...
hey gud work.. i like the way u've expressed urself..but u seem to be writing a lot on physical appearances [urs especially!!:)] ........

and then I realised , for someone who is staunchly not superficial why do I keep writing about physicial appearences , seriously ... If someone were to ask me what is the one thing I would like to change in myself - though my reply would be something like " my temper , or I would really like more patience" the little voice inside me would definitely keep saying " my nose , my nose, my nose " So cmoing back to the question ,Are we all superficial ???? though we claim so much not to be ? Do we all secretly admire ourselves in the mirror ?? So we all secretly fret over - ears which are too big or noses which are too blobby ?? Even us the ones who , well ... have a bath once a week ...

comeing back to Anonymous .. the latter half of his/her comment was :

PS- i was jus readin ur 'abt me" n realised u've picked topics where u've discussed bein fat,short,clumsy n i wonder if the next one's abt havin a bath once a week! hehe

well , yeah ... it is :D

Me , Myself and My Sari

As any other respectable south-Indian Iyengar girl , the first thing , I should have probably done at the age of 16 , is well learn how to wear a sari !!Well , I did ... I swear I really really did ... I lover sari's and for some weird reason they end up looking incredibly elegant and unbelievably beautiful on every single woman other than yours truly ...

I dunno ,what exactly it is about me and my sari but for some weird reason It just refuses to stay in place for more than a total of 10 mins ..Of course for the first 2-3 times , I happily put the blame on my mother and told her that she just cudnt tie a sari which stood on me for more than 10 mins , and then when she finally gave up , I blamed a bunch of friends , aunts , cousins etc.etc but that elusive sari never stood still .

I have had my own experiences with each of my sari's , the green one is Ms. Slippery Slip ( named after the slide down the faraway tree from my favorite Enid Blyton series ) , well I dunno if the sari is jinxed or what , but unbeliveably I slipped a total for 58 times during my school farewell party , ( yes yes , that included slipping on stage , spilling oil from the lamp we were made to carry and generally making the stage slippery for all after me )

The Blue one is nick-named " meen kaari " ( well yeah , that wuz my nickname for a long long time ) This time when I was assuming a post in the college student union , well my sari just HAD TO GIVE WAY THE PRECISE MOMENT I WALKED ON STAGE well I really cudnt have continued walking up , Could I ? so I bundled up the entire sari (in skirt included) and lifted it and walked up on stage with the audience letting out a collective GASP of horror ... and it definitely didnt help that my aunt who also happened to be the principal of the college - WELL GLARED AT ME - SIGH ! NEVER MIND , well thank goodness for it being a women's college .

Of course , my most recent incident has been Ms.Peek-a-Boo , M not even going to dwell on this one , but well , A very good friend's brother was getting married and all my friends decided to wear ( guess what !! ) a sari !! sigh !! of course bad enough me being the pigmy hippo I get mistaken for a 10 -yr old ... so well , I put up this brave front and said , yeas yeas sari is good ... sigh !!!! little did I know !!!!!

Well , all that being said , I havent given up as yet ... with more determination than ever I embark on yet another journey today ( I am wearing a sari to office !!! ) .. so will let u know how that one goes , now all I need is a Hug and someone to say "All the Best "

The life of a Pigmy Hippo !

Well , to give the devil it's due credit - the term Pigmy Hippo was first coined on September 1 2006 by a close friend . Of course this came into being , when I made the mistake of asking him who I resembled ( of course I expected something like Bipashu Basu or Kajol ) but no ,he had to come up with this creative (according to him ) description and he came up with Pigmy Hippo !!

Well , The Hippo bit I could understand well errrr mostly because I have a rather ball shaped nose with big nostrils and well , my current size does well resemble a Hippo ( in certain ways ) but the Pigmy bit is rather unforgivable !! A little over 5 feet I would definitely consider myself the height of the average Indian woman and Pigmy !! well is just pushing it . Anywayz , he wuz above 6 feet 2 himself and a good Friend and all so I let it pass.

Well , It wasn't really dat bad until my own mother !! my own flesh and blood , went and bought Junior Complan for me @ the age of 20 saying that I have to grow taller and now forces me to drink it three times a day :D oh yes I do get a host of advice from my Grandmother ( even she is taller than me !!! ) and she thinks if I hang from a window for 10 minutes everyday my bones and muscles will stretch and I will grow taller !!( yes yes , wnt it be fun if i just fall off the window pane now ???)

Well even this I can take but every time I switch on televsion it is almost as if the stupid TV is mocking me !!!It always plays juts one programme and thats TSN and for some weird reason the only one product I alwayz see advertised are :yeah yeah ! "The grow taller slippers" - a pair of rubber chappal looking things with some magnets strewn in between and it claims that 'the magnetic induction will increase the working on such-and-such muscles and increase growth by 4 inches in just 2 months ( yeah right ! and I am Andrea the gaint) , Of course this is again validated by some hot model who says that she never got her big break in the industry until she she used "magic slippers" and grew tall !!! sigh !! - a la Fair and lovely !

The list dosen't end , I can barely reach the clutch in my car !!My gym instructor stifles a giggle each time he setz the exercise cycle height to level (ummm 0)!! Yeah and for some weird reason I alwayz end up with a six-footer right in the seat in front of me at movie theatres !

Well , I should say my size has it's perks too , I still remember fining a 2nd year student Rs.500 while I was in the Student Council for ragging me , thinking I was a fresher when I was in my final year ( evil smirk - SWHEEEEEEEET REVENGE!) and I also love the way I can scare people with my voice (for some weird reason people think size and voice have some sort of co-relation) , I can still go jump on a bouncing castle ( hehehehe I still stand below the requisite height bar )and yeah everyone thinks I am this sweet , little girl who needs to be protected from the big, bad world ! ( hehehehehehehe - How true I say !!!)

Anyway , so well back to my friend ,I gave him a dirty look and screamed and stomped and shouted how rude !!! but I secretly liked the name and so my blog is named hence :D of course as someone recently told me "itz not size which matters but how well you use it" !!