Tainted Success

“ I want my own identity” my 16 year old cousin told me in all seriousness. (Let’s call her M for now). M is probably one of kids you would want to call ‘incredibly lucky’ – her mother is one of the most respected educationalists and the principal of a leading college in the country, obviously ‘getting in’ would not be any problem what-so-ever. Yet, as we sat talking in my bedroom, I had never seen her more vulnerable, hugging a pillow to her chest she repeats “ If I do well.. then I will branded as the principal’s daughter, If I don’t .. then it will be the story of the principal’s daughter not doing well. It’s a no win situation. I will be under constant scrutiny. My every step will be watched. I am afraid”.

For those few minutes, my heart went out to M, in a way I understand her so well… It’s been three years since I graduated from the same college as a University ranker and the voices saying ‘principal’s niece came first’ haven’t died down. Here is one thing every single classmate of mine will remember – I was related to the principal! Three years of hard-work, six semesters of constantly trying to innovate and three impressive professional internships … (ok, I know I am bragging now) but at the end.. that was all that I was … the principal’s niece. Now, this might have actually been justified if I had gotten even a ounce of that ‘preferential treatment’ – yes, I got to see the college labs beforehand and the library and office staff were rather nice to me … but that’s that .. Every teacher was told to mark me ‘carefully’ and anything above a 90 in any subject raised her eyebrows. Thankfully, the years I studied we were still affiliated to the University of Madras and all the final grading and marking was done at the University – completely exclusive to the college – PHEW! See, I am not saying I was the best or the smartest in class – I wasn’t … but then I worked hard … hard under the pressure of being someone who deserve her success. I was never a school topper and the first time I did well in my life, my success was clouded by a tag, a relationship nature chose for me, so much so that even my own father once remarked “ Oh, don’t think you are so smart, you topped because you are the principal’s niece”. Well, I don’t blame my classmates one bit – it’s so much easier to hate someone and I would have done the same on the other end of the spectrum…

Now, back to M … I can only imagine how much harder it would be for her… her reputation precedes her … no matter what she does … she won’t ever be a deserving candidate of the success in the eyes of her peers .. and if she doesn’t it’s egg on the face for her mother ( something, she can’t afford) . Torn between sides, she sat in front of me … while the rest of the world calls her difficult ‘ becoz she put her foot down about studying in the city, where everyone knows who she is”. Have we ever wondered how blood relatives of our teachers and principal fare at school ? Ill tell you .. terrible .. my best friend (from college) and probably the only person who actually believes that I deserve to be where I am .. thanks to the number of night-outs we have crammed together .. was a teacher’s daughter .. and her school-story wasn’t pretty either. Before we pass remarks (as even I have done ) .. Do we once stop to think of how we would like it if our success was taken away from us .. By just a tag? Before we boycott someone thanks to proximity to an administrator in school or college , do we stop to think how this would affect the person’s psyche ?...

Before .. I ramble and start to whine … my story had a happy ending .. I got a great job ( NOT through my aunt’s influence) and then came Harvard ( now, even SHE can’t get me into Harvard) … 2 years later .. I now believe that I can face any of my classmates, unapologetic about my good grades… as for my cousin .. all I have told her is to be patient .. her day will come …